This is a more well thought out, modified and alternately titled version of something I wanted to say in front of a group of people. It was a smaller number than I would've wanted, though probably a good thing, as you'll find out. I got pressured (kidding) into reviewing and redoing this thanks in no small part to my poor communication skills, here compensated by the fact that it takes significantly longer to type something out than say. I probably should've wrote it all down in the the first place, so that I could type and retype and rephrase and delete and repeat etc etc to my heart's content, but alas, laziness allowed me to rationalize that being loose and flow-y was a better option, to 'facilitate the Holy Spirit's work'. I don't know if I was outrightly wrong, if gut feel is anything to go by, I didn't do anything I regret now.
Basically what I wanted to say was this: people are fundamentally horrible to live and work with, and the church is no exception. Making the Gospel come alive, so to speak, means that God's people must stick together and not just like but love each other, which takes a literal superhuman effort.
I mean. Just look at your family. I see mine often enough. Sometimes I think way too often. And I think my problem is that over the years I've become more able without a prerequisite 5 minutes of deep thought to point out what parts of the relationships suck than which parts I enjoy, but that's where I'm at on my journey. Maybe you haven't come to the realization yet that the people you know and even like aren't perfect and maybe you won't even need to confront that fact emotionally (that's incredible if that's you; certainly God's grace is responsible for that). Maybe you think I have it easy compared to what you're going through (which I am inclined to agree). Maybe you've worked this out already and have come to understand what 'love' really means. Me jelly.
I use the example of family, because that seems to be the most universally understood unit of a (dys)functioning society, and it's where I feel I am at a period (a long one) of tension that comes before progress. I don't think I have to elaborate how all organizations and especially a church at its core functions like a family of sorts. I also don't think I have to mention how these units breakdown all the time. I could also say that at the heart of every failed relationship personal or otherwise is a result of unaired expectations, but there's more to it.
Now let's talk about the church. From where I'm at and can legitimately comment on: we're so far from the ideal it's not even funny. Now, mind, I'm talking about my church, in the ministry I'm involved in. Of course, individually in relationships I am sure we have something close to what we're aiming for here but I'm talking about the whole feel of it. The very essence and identity, if you could call it that. It's not there.
Where is the humility, the sensitivity, the awareness, the meeting of needs: of the other person, the unfamiliar, the too familiar? Where is the urgent, desperate need to mend fences, break down walls , scale high towers? (Eph 4:1-6)
Where is THE LOVE OF CHRIST, FOR GOD'S SAKE?
Sure, we're mostly (I can't even say "all") 'good Christians'. Polite, well-mannered, decent. Will the real non-plastic people please start fighting? Don't get me wrong: I'm not about to advocate a alcohol-fueled, profanity laced orgy in place of a worship service. But since when has it become 'not okay' to bring things, all sorts of things, into the Light that we profess to bask in? This Light, not from a nice, warm pleasant little hearth, but also known as All-Consuming Fire? Has it not been obvious enough that the gold and silver will not burn like the wood and dross? (Eph 5:6-14)
It seems to me then that it is obvious we do not know the Person of God well enough.
We want to understand His will but do not understand His heart. We want His plans, His goals clearly laid out, but we forget His vision.
To know Him is to know His love. His love is enough to see us through. It is His love and His love alone why any person would even bother choosing to love. No amount of time spent hanging out, good fellowship, pleasant personality, decent looks, excellent work ethic or common interest will ever amount to this one thing, this one reason. His love is the sole reason that can stand relationship tests of anger, jealousy and pride.
We are the ingredients in relationships. We break. When we are the SOLE ingredients, relationships are doomed to fail from the start. It's a strong stance, but in my opinion the love of God must be present for any semblance of true relationship. We love because He first loved us. (1 John 4:19) God alone is what makes His people, His. He works in and through us. We must constantly be reminded that what unites is in fact otherworldly, known imperfectly in this realm. (Eph 4:4-6)
I do not think I could actually love anyone other than myself (even then, how hard it is!), if not for the revelation of His love to me, of His loving of other people through me. All glory to God, then, and rightfully so. But I had to first choose to know Him, knowing that if there was anything I disagreed with Him about, I would be most definitely be wrong and have to change! Plus He even says that the change would only be complete when I see Him face to face and that it would be a painful process of surrender. So I know here what I'm signing up for. I can say this empty of sarcasm, with genuine belief and a bit of humour, because I know Him.
Go read Ephesians 4-5:21 yourself. Read all of Ephesians if you have to. There is no better way to know what's on God's mind than reading His Word and seeking, asking Him for, His revelation. Mere words are written and spoken by men, prone to error, subject to the tides of culture. Real meaning for a reader and listener is given by God, because only He, unquestioningly and consistently, can change lives.