relativism is the devil on a talkshow

The feeling that while it's a very long way from good, one can't say it is on the horribad levels that others have experienced before

2011-11-15T22:37:00.001+08:00

Dear person I know and have a meaningful relationship with, I address you. No. Not you, it can't BE you. But you, you, you and yes, you too. I would like to punch you in the face. Honestly. It may take me 30 seconds, it may take me 30 years, but I am pretty sure at some point in the future, I will feel like it. Very likely in the past as well. I apologize and make a disclaimer: I do not love you.

Let me get this straight: 'i' cannot love. It's been tried before and mostly what happens is that 'i' find out you are nothing like me/God at all and then 'i' want to punch you in the face. Even right now. Yes. Right this very moment, YOU could be the one 'i' would dearly like to serve what is known as a "knuckle sandwich" in the hopes that my cry of "why can't you be more like me/God" and "what is WRONG with you" be heard in no uncertain terms. Also in a non-hypocritical way. Since, you know, the "me/God" does not equate equality but a substitution, for whenever occasions call for it.

'i' cannot love. Oh no. Not at all. But I believe God for His purposes would like to love you through this 'i'. That, I think, is what accounts for those moments of blinding purity that 'i' have no business claiming credit for. See, 'i' can only choose. And a lot of times, 'i' choose wrong. While 'i' want you to choose right ALL THE TIME, it's not possible and very selfish on my part.

So 'i' resort to poor expressions of passive aggression online (a first for me) which will leave you wary of the next time I come within an arm's reach of you which may or may not be accompanied by a scowl.

'i' almost hope God just lets me do this one day. I kid. Almost.

Regards.

-

What are You even saying. 'i' don't want to learn. I only want to punch lower lifeforms in the face. I want an all-out fight that at the end everyone no longer has any energy to hate or argue. Is that a lot to ask?

-

Call me a pansy. Call me ignorant. Call me prideful. It will be true. And just as long as you see that it is true for yourself as well, like I do, 'i' may hug you instead. God help us all.

His Love is Enough

2011-09-02T16:15:00.000+08:00

This is a more well thought out, modified and alternately titled version of something I wanted to say in front of a group of people. It was a smaller number than I would've wanted, though probably a good thing, as you'll find out. I got pressured (kidding) into reviewing and redoing this thanks in no small part to my poor communication skills, here compensated by the fact that it takes significantly longer to type something out than say. I probably should've wrote it all down in the the first place, so that I could type and retype and rephrase and delete and repeat etc etc to my heart's content, but alas, laziness allowed me to rationalize that being loose and flow-y was a better option, to 'facilitate the Holy Spirit's work'. I don't know if I was outrightly wrong, if gut feel is anything to go by, I didn't do anything I regret now.

Basically what I wanted to say was this: people are fundamentally horrible to live and work with, and the church is no exception. Making the Gospel come alive, so to speak, means that God's people must stick together and not just like but love each other, which takes a literal superhuman effort.

I mean. Just look at your family. I see mine often enough. Sometimes I think way too often. And I think my problem is that over the years I've become more able without a prerequisite 5 minutes of deep thought to point out what parts of the relationships suck than which parts I enjoy, but that's where I'm at on my journey. Maybe you haven't come to the realization yet that the people you know and even like aren't perfect and maybe you won't even need to confront that fact emotionally (that's incredible if that's you; certainly God's grace is responsible for that). Maybe you think I have it easy compared to what you're going through (which I am inclined to agree). Maybe you've worked this out already and have come to understand what 'love' really means. Me jelly.

I use the example of family, because that seems to be the most universally understood unit of a (dys)functioning society, and it's where I feel I am at a period (a long one) of tension that comes before progress. I don't think I have to elaborate how all organizations and especially a church at its core functions like a family of sorts. I also don't think I have to mention how these units breakdown all the time. I could also say that at the heart of every failed relationship personal or otherwise is a result of unaired expectations, but there's more to it.

Now let's talk about the church. From where I'm at and can legitimately comment on: we're so far from the ideal it's not even funny. Now, mind, I'm talking about my church, in the ministry I'm involved in. Of course, individually in relationships I am sure we have something close to what we're aiming for here but I'm talking about the whole feel of it. The very essence and identity, if you could call it that. It's not there.

Where is the humility, the sensitivity, the awareness, the meeting of needs: of the other person, the unfamiliar, the too familiar? Where is the urgent, desperate need to mend fences, break down walls , scale high towers? (Eph 4:1-6)

Where is THE LOVE OF CHRIST, FOR GOD'S SAKE?

Sure, we're mostly (I can't even say "all") 'good Christians'. Polite, well-mannered, decent. Will the real non-plastic people please start fighting? Don't get me wrong: I'm not about to advocate a alcohol-fueled, profanity laced orgy in place of a worship service. But since when has it become 'not okay' to bring things, all sorts of things, into the Light that we profess to bask in? This Light, not from a nice, warm pleasant little hearth, but also known as All-Consuming Fire? Has it not been obvious enough that the gold and silver will not burn like the wood and dross? (Eph 5:6-14)

It seems to me then that it is obvious we do not know the Person of God well enough.

We want to understand His will but do not understand His heart. We want His plans, His goals clearly laid out, but we forget His vision.

To know Him is to know His love. His love is enough to see us through. It is His love and His love alone why any person would even bother choosing to love. No amount of time spent hanging out, good fellowship, pleasant personality, decent looks, excellent work ethic or common interest will ever amount to this one thing, this one reason. His love is the sole reason that can stand relationship tests of anger, jealousy and pride.

We are the ingredients in relationships. We break. When we are the SOLE ingredients, relationships are doomed to fail from the start. It's a strong stance, but in my opinion the love of God must be present for any semblance of true relationship. We love because He first loved us. (1 John 4:19) God alone is what makes His people, His. He works in and through us. We must constantly be reminded that what unites is in fact otherworldly, known imperfectly in this realm. (Eph 4:4-6)

I do not think I could actually love anyone other than myself (even then, how hard it is!), if not for the revelation of His love to me, of His loving of other people through me. All glory to God, then, and rightfully so. But I had to first choose to know Him, knowing that if there was anything I disagreed with Him about, I would be most definitely be wrong and have to change! Plus He even says that the change would only be complete when I see Him face to face and that it would be a painful process of surrender. So I know here what I'm signing up for. I can say this empty of sarcasm, with genuine belief and a bit of humour, because I know Him.

Go read Ephesians 4-5:21 yourself. Read all of Ephesians if you have to. There is no better way to know what's on God's mind than reading His Word and seeking, asking Him for, His revelation. Mere words are written and spoken by men, prone to error, subject to the tides of culture. Real meaning for a reader and listener is given by God, because only He, unquestioningly and consistently, can change lives.

Appearances

2011-08-01T17:34:00.000+08:00

If people don't judge, why am I nearly always asked, "Why are you wearing a tie?"

I think appearances usually have only one of two aims: to conform or to stand out. There is a third outcome, that of 'no aim' - simply a 'whatever I feel like'.

I actually do think about how I'm going to dress myself depending on who I'm going to meet, mostly along the lines of "How well do I know them?", "How do I best present myself in a way that I will be accepted?"

General rule of thumb: the more ridiculous I look, the more familiar and hence comfortable I am with person(s) and/or situation.

Now this kind of makes me look shallow.

I'd like to suggest that it's not. Really.

A chef would seriously think about how food is presented, because the smell and the look of food would be in one's mind before what it actually tastes like, and we're not even going into how healthy it is or how much it costs here. So many things to present, from the very first impression. All important.

Feel free to replace "chef" and "food" with whatever you can connect with better.

So you want people to know you? What you think, feel, believe? And care?

One of many revisits

2011-07-14T23:45:00.000+08:00

A perspective I usually have. As articulated by someone with talent and practice in articulation.

I know; this is lazy.

Humility

2011-06-20T20:11:00.000+08:00

Takes a bite out of your being.
Washes away the cloying sweetness of acheivement.
Hits where it hurts.

Allows for His strength to be strong.

My mind

2011-05-19T02:38:00.000+08:00

This. And this. And this.

Interesting. I have to hold these at bay ~~ALL THE TIME~~ when I start talking and thinking too much.

I feel like I can't really write. Or think. Or speak. Or feel. Yet I presume to teach sometimes.

When is humility just crushing self defeat? When is pride just quiet confidence?

Ah. Who can deliver me from this body of death indeed.

It really is You.

the noblest cause

2011-04-12T11:08:00.000+08:00

may i suggest that it is to educate. about right now you're thinking: so this guy wants to be a teacher. well as for that career choice (teacher in the general sense not the very specific classroom warrior) i haven't completely ruled it out and don't feel the need to hide my passion for it behind the veneer of 'i think this is so uncool, thus i am cool', but that's not what i'm trying to get at.

perhaps i am too obsessed about knowledge and the thrill of knowing, but is there anything better than passing on what you know to be true to another person? what about passing on HOW you know truth? the aim here then, is very obviously to educate not instruct, if i may dare suggest a difference between the two that i hope people understand. i have an aversion to instruction, which is sad really, because instruction does have its place and when there are opportunities i think i waste them.

the reason i don't 'like' instructing in the sense where i tell someone 'the right thing (to do)' is not because i do not believe in 'right'. in fact i believe in Right. i seem to value the honest process it takes to come to a conclusion about Right possibly because it has made the most impact for me.

in this sense then, i have never really regarded anyone as being my personal teachers. apologies to anyone who may be offended. i more or less have learned from these people and/or sources available to me and kind of cannibalise parts of ideas everywhere and make them my own because i believe ideas taken wholesale cannot be refined and will never be called one's own until one has taken it apart, stared at the insides, and reverse engineered it. sort of like how taking a mechanical object apart and putting it back together gives you a sense of ownership. i was going to say "watch" but then i find that the very good example of stripping and assembling a rifle is already within my understanding and experience. there are many like it, but this one is mine and all that.

also another analogy i like to use about ideas and the taking ownership of them is that of a baby. you know how the most common reaction to them would be how cute they are? well it doesn't really have any real meaning or gravity unless the person in whom the reaction had been elicited from has woken up at 3am to soothe the baby back to sleep or worked to earn the money to pay for the diapers which the person will have to change and dispose of a few minutes prior to lunch. cute baby huh.

this is why i do what i do i guess.

overlap

2011-04-08T09:54:00.000+08:00

why is it some people are afraid of letting their circles of friends overlap? even their families. maybe they aren't. but to me when one keeps from mentioning different commitments to different parties in a bid to promote mutual understanding, that's just weird. it's an irrational thing i do sometimes too.

"i'm going off now." "i was out." "gonna meet some friends."

i mean. was throwing in some names so hard? or at least some details? would the mentioned parties be offended/prefer it this way if they knew? because hey, you gotta assume the party you're speaking to actually cares, or what else is your relationship built on anyways.

tl;dr i prefer being referred to by my name in any third party conversation because it builds my ego.

transparency

2011-03-26T01:47:00.000+08:00

i'll leave everything here. it is evidence of growth.

more to come.

The long run

2009-02-08T18:03:00.002+08:00

Military life so far seems to be quite what I expected.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

Unreal

2009-01-07T19:05:00.001+08:00

That the IB results have been released. And that I'm going to enlist tomorrow. Exciting.

On fighting

2008-08-13T21:04:00.002+08:00

I don't. Really. I just kind of let things happen. I don't resist. Which sucks. It's been going on and on and on. I'm not tough enough, strong enough, fast enough, skilled enough. I don't go the distance. I don't improve. Not enough. And so I lose. Submit. Give up. Stay mediocre. Stay in crap but familiar surroundings.

I am my own worst enemy. I can't do this alone but even then it is always a choice I make.

Scared of hard work.

So ironically (or appropriately), I just picked up a combat sport. After failing (it really depends on who you ask) in this other awesome sport.

Soon.

Let's see.

The only thing keeping me going is that I'm still a work in progress. But there are days it seems like the 'other' me is tearing everything apart.

Thank you BT hahaha

2008-07-06T22:57:00.001+08:00

This is nice.

I feel

2008-04-27T22:51:00.001+08:00

Like a champ. EE (draft one) DONE! I thank God regardless. For without Him all I do will be impossible. The best is yet to be.

I mean it lah.

Says a lot about what I'm using my time for

2008-04-26T11:59:00.001+08:00

Who doesn't want a Mac?

What I would like right now

2008-04-08T21:25:00.002+08:00

EE done
IAs done

...among other things. Such as knowing why I was compelled to write such an inane post.

The New Year

2008-01-01T16:42:00.000+08:00

Well. If anything, I resolve not to be casual in the things I do or pursue. We're talking like, being intense here. I'm done mucking about.

'Cher

2007-10-18T19:35:00.000+08:00

Whoa. Was it really eight years ago that I sat for the selection tests that I'm NOW INVIGILATING? That's. Mad.

And. In case you didn't know. Only in a certain family of schools are teachers referred to as 'sir' and 'madam'. Not, as you may address them, as 'teacher' or simply 'cher'. Or Mr/Ms/Mdm . Therefore, being in this certain family of schools and a student myself, being referred to as 'teacher' and being alerted (or rather being asked for permission) everytime a kid needed to "go toilet" or "drink water" was a new experience. Whether I could get used to it or not is another matter entirely. Although the feeling of having young impressionable minds within one's influence is rather unnerving, being oppressively full of responsibility, I suppose God has a way of preparing one for certain specific near-future situations one is likely to find oneself in.

One thing is certain. I. Need. (non-baggy, non-loose (read: fitting, not stiflingly tight), flat fronted, dark coloured) Pants.

Gripping Stuff

2007-09-03T21:10:00.000+08:00

This is, well, Gripping Stuff. Some may find it Faintly Amusing. Or even Extremely Disturbing. It is, however, Certainly Dangerous. Consider yourself Duly Warned.

Think very hard BEFORE clicking that link.

How strong is your faith? No. Really.

Oh for harsh Light to pierce the haze of complacency

2007-08-20T18:08:00.000+08:00

The Lights at Nero's Party - After the Sirens

How vaguely we eschew complicity with You,
It's always run-arounds, excuses
And words we bind to nooses
Just to sullenly let swing
The best of arbitrary things,
Like, do we care about the poor?
Oh yes, but we support the king.
And we're starving for the slaughter.
A man gives up his daughter
And the walls that keep us safe aren't saving anyone.
Didn't You sayto risk everything?
And we're left dieting for more
And then we're burning on the tor
That flanks an emperor's affair.
We've hardly sacrificed before
So in manic heavenward stare
Let the confession from our lungs
That as our bodies torch the air
To the fanfare and the drums,
Amid drunken wild acclaim,
We have the urge to scream Your name
Without hesitance or shame
Affirm our place among the burning.
And our bodies break, confirming
Our inability to remain
Without an object for our yearning.
Our inability, our inability.
"Oh God, accept our spirits into Your holy presence"

"Covered with the skins of beasts, they were torn by dogs and perished, or were nailed to crosses, or were doomed to the flames and burnt, to serve as a nightly illumination, when daylight had expired." - Tacitus, The Annals XV, 44

Mediocrity - It takes a lot less time and most people won't notice until it's too late.

2007-07-16T21:18:00.000+08:00

Well. In a strange twisted way.

Hug the kid.

Send him out into The System.

Something is going to break.

A slippery slope

2007-04-11T17:46:00.000+08:00

Change is NOT natural.
Chaos, however, is.
Order is NOT natural.
Therefore order IS change.
Real change is revolution.
People in power do not encourage revolution.
Therefore people in power encourage chaos.
People in power want order, among other things (like more power, or money).
But they do not want revolution.
Therefore people in power do not make sense.
If change is not natural, then it is forced.
F = ma
Therefore with enough mass and acceleration, people in power can be displaced.
In theory.

Kind of like EMOtionblind

2007-03-28T14:35:00.000+08:00

Ah. Now the song title makes sense. Though it kind of messes around with the song meaning.

Review

2007-03-05T20:38:00.000+08:00

Of course, I could launch into an Anberlin rave, but I won't.

Ok. It's the last week of the term and what have I learnt?

Nothing. I was sleeping THE WHOLE TIME.

Nothing. It always was a brilliantly engineered android.

Nothing. I know everything there is to know.

Those were in order of preference, which are all sadly untrue. Ignorance is bliss, they say, but then again knowledge is... JUSTIFIED TRUE BELIEF. (What the?)

Hm. Academic content aside, it has been an excellent observation of the social experiment that is school.

Some of us, we're hardly ever here

The rest of us, we're born to disappear

How do I stop myself from being just a number

How will I hold my head to keep from going under

And. The vultures.

That's enough, John Mayer.

Rebirth

2007-02-20T21:18:00.000+08:00

Seeing as the movie is out soon, and that it's been found (rediscovered after being *gasp* neglected by me; at least it's a good conversation piece at your house), RCKY is now a stale joke (at the same time, an old man (still packing a good left hook) and the best pet EVER).

So.

There IS Truth. It CAN be found.

Relativism SUCKS.

Important question

2007-02-11T21:58:00.000+08:00

The Bible is an accurate historical document. True or false.

It's just a POST.

2007-02-08T21:32:00.000+08:00

Shocking, isn't it.

No, this is NOT a clone of this. That was just an excuse for a bad joke.

Speaking of jokes: I've been labeled as one. Not that it's recent or anything. Don't worry if it isn't obvious. There are supposedly plenty of eyewitness accounts. Somewhere. (Now if that wasn't an open invitation for my regular (or new) tormentors to use the *gasp* horrendous thing called a tagbox I swore not to put up here, I don't know what is. Meh. RCKY feels used.)

In a way it's funny how I actually don't mind being laughed at. As long as people laugh, it's all good. This is disturbing, though I'm thankful for the fact (?) that so far the people laughing AT me can also laugh WITH me: making laughing at myself a lot easier. Gah I need some psychoanalysis. I'll have to admit that there is no way I'm going to reach the heights of being the funnyguy-with-his-very-own-variety-show like a certain (now this is really shocking news) primary school mate (well, now you know where not to send your kids to, though you don't know where not to; seeing as I haven't smeared its prestigious chinese name as of yet to avoid the press) who has acheived infamy for being the ultimate joke(r) in school (popular belief being subjective, though still popular).

As someone has pointed out: I'm a comedy of errors. Not that I was conceived accidentally or anything (I'm VERY certain of this). But hey. I've fumbled along alright. I know where I'm going.

That. Was a rare moment of coherent reflection. You can imagine the nonsense I myself can't understand when put in words.

"I have questions; questions that need answering." ducks to avoid low beam

2007-02-02T22:41:00.000+08:00

All you need is a simple mind. Heh.

Black or brown or dark green or white?

Ok. Now that my entire wardrobe has been revealed, we move on to:

Intelligent design or evolution?

Big bang or creation?

How much does it matter to you, if it matters at all?

Theory or belief?

Is there even a difference between the above two?

What are you Certain of?

How certain are you of Certainty?

Do we have free will?

What happens to 'us' when we 'die'?

Wanna bet your life?

Who really cares if these questions get answered?

Are there answers?

Are you sure?

Are you pissed that this sounds like what you're doing in school and some idiot actually bothers to think about it?

Did any of those questions make sense?

Did you think about them?

Who is reading this anyway?

Why bother, indeed?

Knowledge

2007-01-23T21:11:00.000+08:00

I can tell it's affecting me. 'It' referring to various prods to make people think. Or just RCKY trying to stay alive.

So. I say knowledge, other than when used for leverage (term left vaguely defined to facilitate some sort of thought), is basically useless. Really. Knowing for the sake of knowing or for one's interest doesn't seem to count either, because apparently, what you know and how you came about knowing it is just trash...

Wait. That was nonsense. That, was some desperate fool clawing for a view that isn't 'cookie-cutter', blind to the fact that it is precisely these self-deludedly 'non-conformist' views that are a dime a dozen among the world's self proclaimed intellectual thirteen year old population (not being discriminating, but usually thirteen's a time where (some) kids think they're too smart for various things, mostly concerning with authority in its various forms, though there are some cases where they don't grow out of it; or, as the previous paragraph (and this one) suggests, lurks at the darkest corner of one's psyche, waiting to emerge, of all places, online where views are oh-so-conveniently presented, rants blared, and one's Superman pyjamas hung out to dry (not that I have any) (I do have too many parentheses though)).

My bad. Sorry RCKY. I should never have left you in the art room.

Oh Baby, Are You Okay?

2007-01-21T20:44:00.000+08:00

Baby
How did you get this way?
I leave you alone for a moment
And your stare's a little vacant
Why do you look away
Baby
Why do this to yourself
Don't I love you enough
It isn't that tough
To see that it's no good running away

Are you ok?
Are you ok?
Because I see that scratch, that scar
On that body of yours
Baby, are you ok?

Baby
How did you get this way?
I know your heart is fragile
So this is gonna take a while
Before you go out and play
Baby
Stay out of the sun
We know you will fracture
Is it so hard to capture
That you're my only one?

Oh no, oh no

Could I have been the one who hurt you?

Was I too careless?

Did I step out of line?

Is it time for a tearful goodbye?

Are you ok?

Because I see that scratch, that scar

On that body of yours

Baby, are you ok?

You know the school year is going to suck when...

2007-01-11T19:42:00.000+08:00

...you don't look forward to it.

...teachers confirm your feeling of dread with long lectures that outline how the next two years is all uphill.

...said lectures span across entire week.

...you feel drained even after all that sleep during said lectures.

...you find out that you have to go through the crap of repeating your name twice, loudly, when someone doing a roll call goes through all the D names and then pauses uncomfortably.

...roll caller pronounces your name funny.

...you have to introduce yourself eventually to a dozen other people you've met once/haven't met/don't wish to meet/have a vague awareness of their existence.

...everyone else pronounces your name funny, except, of course, the people you've been with for quite a while.

...you thought this traumatic experience of introductions was over and done with, since it's the same school you're still in.

...you remember you might as well have been new anyway, since you, a) didn't mix around with other people due to circumstance and choice (though more due to circumstance) and b) have new schoolmates.

...you realise that you really could be xenophobic.

...the thought of comparing your school experience to another's actually crosses your mind. (Yes, you were content all this while.)

...you don't want it to and don't want to end up blaming your parents/God/yourself for various reasons if it does end up waist deep in muck.

...you don't want to be thinking about it.

...idiots ask whether your life/career/further education is planned out when all you wanted was to get through the system doing the minimal, ask questions later and hopefully get an ENJOYABLE JOB THAT YOU HAVE AN INTEREST IN, even though you won't end up rich.

...you write your insignificant views about it in your blog when you swore you wouldn't.

No, I'm not depressed. I think. Meh. Needed to say all that.

The meaning of Christmas, as expressed by Relient K

2006-12-26T17:14:00.000+08:00

Many days have passed since i actually thought about this blog. I will assume the same on your part. No worries though. Here is something meaningful. Well. Meaningful enough for me. And I hope meaningful for you too.

-
I Celebrate The Day

And with this Christmas wish is missed
The point I could convey
If only I could find the words to say to let You know how much You've touched my life
Because here is where You're finding me, in the exact same place as New Year's eve
And from a lack of my persistency
We're less than half as close as I want to be

And the first time
That You opened Your eyes did You realize that You would be my Savior
And the first breath that left Your lips
Did You know that it would change this world forever

And so this Christmas I'll compare the things I felt in prior years
To what this midnight made so clear
That You have come to meet me here

To look back and think that
This baby would one day save me
In the hope that what You did
That you were born so I might live
To look back and think that
This baby would one day save me

And I, I celebrate the day
That You were born to die
So I could one day pray for You to save my life
-

Yes. I cheat using lyrics.

Look at me! I'm a deviation!

2006-11-14T15:29:00.000+08:00

So. Let's get the formalities out of the way.

Memphis Will Be Laid To Waste - Norma Jean

Yay. This song is fantastic. It features Aaron Weiss from mewithoutyou for the last part of the song. So, if you're into actual singing, these two bands are not your type. At all. Think shredding. But not on a guitar. ON A THROAT. And some spoken word type vocals from Aaron.

BUT. Aside from the great raw sound and poetry, this song is even cooler by the fact that IT HAS A NIRVANA RIFF IN IT. Anyone notice? Anyone? Knowing no one is going to listen to Memphis anyway, I'll just leave the Nirvana song title a mystery, since it's INCONSEQUENTIAL. Like this post.

Lately it has been playing over and over and over and over and over in my head. I was hoping talking about it would make it stop, but it hasn't. Ah well. I could try removing the earphones, but it would be too much of a hassle.

And I have run out of seemingly relevant meaningful things to say.

Pack your belongings for exile, you who live in Egypt, for Memphis will be laid waste and lie in ruins without inhabitant. Jeremiah 46:19

Wiki touches a sore spot

2006-11-04T23:17:00.000+08:00

Any takers that this was posted by an agent of a certain republic's government?

And since those odds are too safe for you adrenaline junkies, how about: hundred bucks I DON'T get arrested (by whom or what, it doesn't matter)?

But seriously. This is SERIOUS. I'm vaguely pissed about the fact that inequality of some form is still around so close to home. But hey. Speak Good Malay? Anyone? No one? Can I not watch this Chinese cooking show without subtitles on the bus? Please?

Call it practical demographics, call it the result of selfish people in power, whatever it is, I can't quite put my finger on why it's so disturbing.

BTW WIKI FTW SSBATW (since sliced bread and the wheel; please, pick this up, this being a desperate plea for publicity through internet phenomenon)

Har har

Well, I'm back

2006-11-04T00:36:00.000+08:00

First of all. That quadpost made me look like a retard. I apologise (for making me appear to be less of a retard then I actually am). Freaking error messages.

Well... Nothing like a geography field trip to spice up a school holiday. Came back yesterday with not much worth mentioning or buying, save for this interesting thing called, and I quote the menu, a black bitch. If you happen to stumble across this post due to those particular keywords, you probably aren't in the right place.

See, you'd expect some badass thing, right? Plus it's a cocktail. A cocktail named a BLACK BITCH. I mean. Dood.

THEN YOU REALISE IT ISN'T ALCOHOLIC.

OR BLACK.

IT'S FREAKING MINT AND APPLES IN SPRITE.

HOW DOES THIS DRINK DESERVE THAT NAME.

It should be like. Uh. Mosh. For the want of a better word with connotations to a certain... person.
-Very Bad In-joke

Ok. On to stuff that you should be thinking about. So. Does tourism do more good or bad to a country? (Cite relevant examples you have studied. Sorry, couldn't resist.) Looking at the row upon row of branded surf shops, suffering from the McDonald syndrome of spawning every 10 meters, has given birth to the associated hip-hop/techno/trance/skater/surfer/BADSTREETKULTURE (that has subsequntly rotted away the very core of my being). And thus, Kuta, Bali, feels like AUSTRALIA. Or something. And that is, uh. Good? And, following closely behind: globalisation, etc, etc. I won't bore you with the details. But I will say I don't mind bumming out everyday with a six-pack (in every sense of the word) on the beach renting out surfboards to foreign visitors to my sunny island(-city? Meh. If only this place had decent beaches).

Still, it's a big contrast to the rest of Indonesia.

And. I intend to upload more nice photos I took in Bali. Heh.

The Truth - Relient K

2006-10-28T22:26:00.000+08:00

And I've collected all these thoughts
And I'm dying just to lose them
And if Your words are true or not
I'll die trying to prove them

But I'll just have to accept
That my mind is so inept
And the only thing that's left
For me to do is trust You

Convince me
Because I really need your help
Convince me
Because I can't see this for myself

I'll put the emphasis on the evidence
Begging for the proof
Sometimes the hardest thing to believe is the truth

This is so unnerving
I know You've never lied to me before
But the things You're telling me
I can't yet believe
Yet can't ignore

But I'll just have to accept
That my mind is so inept
And the only thing that's left
For me to do is trust You

I'll put the emphasis on the evidence
Begging for the proof
Sometimes the hardest thing to believe is the truth

And since we've placed our lives into Your hands
Confide in what You'll do
Sometimes the hardest thing to believe is the truth

It's a world full of cynics
We say to stay alive in it
You got to stick with what you know
But the soul is always aching
For the heart to start taking
A chance by letting go

So let go
Let go
Sometimes the hardest thing to believe is the truth

And since we've placed our lives into Your hands
Confide in what You'll do
And sometimes when you're trying to sleep
And all your doubts and your faith don't agree
It's because sometimes the hardest thing to believe is the truth

For the sake of making a statement

2006-10-19T21:20:00.000+08:00

...and here is another incarnation of myself online.

Chinese Essay-ness

2006-10-11T08:50:00.000+08:00

Here are two guys, Bob and Larry. No, they're not the veggies.

Bob and Larry went to the same school since they were whatever-age-parents-start-deciding-to-send-their-kids-to-school.

They both floated along with the system attaining average grades, weren't really involved passionately in anything in school, etc. They were effectively invisible.

Bob decides to go to university (Which is possible even with average grades. Really.) and continues to study something he's not interested in at all, which he has been doing since a little after whatever-age-parents-start-deciding-to-send-their-kids-to-school. He then goes on to make big bucks without actually using much of the stuff he's learnt, but was required to know for unknown reasons. He hates his job (lack of a life).

Larry, like Bob, realises he's been studying something he's not interested in at all since a little after whatever-age-parents-start-deciding-to-send-their-kids-to-school, and becomes bored with the paper trail that can only mean more meaningless study, quits school at 17. He loafs around the rest of his life, disillusioned. He hates his life (lack of a job).

They both die.

-

That's not exactly the end, but that's another post.

The point is. THEY'RE BOTH DUMBASSES.

Obviously, this isn't that obvious. Yet. You want to either ask me about this and be prepared for a long rant or just wait for another time when I can frame my thoughts properly and try not to sound too immature or unrealistic about how this came crashing down on me a little after whatever-age-parents-start-deciding-to-send-their-kids-to-school.

Ok, fine. Quite a while after.

FIND YOUR -NESS. PLS. L2P

A first post

2006-10-08T17:28:00.000+08:00

Ha. Ha. To those who got the joke for my blog title.

Well. For those who thought I'd never blog: yes, I'm disappointed too. But since I don't actually say much in person aside from all the nonsense, this is probably one place you'd get to look at the 'proper' stuff (or more nonsense, if you prefer).

First off, this blog will not actually be me. Sad but true for the stalker-types out there. It will probably consist of too well thought out posts (hopefully) that will remove all intimacy (term here used very loosely) whatsoever. Stalker-types: You probably know where I live, what my phone number is, what my email is, where I am during the week, etc. That should be sufficient, I think.

Heh. That is to say, this blog isn't going to be a journal of any kind where I'm going to pour out my soul with its deepest darkest secrets. Not online anyway. It's also not going to be some shallow crap either, i.e. whether I brush my teeth or not every morning is going to remain a mystery.

Still, I resolve to make this blog one where I'm going to express my opinions and what I believe is Truth. This will be a place where hopefully people will come and interact with ideas responsibly, and THINK. Its aspiring to be a mental gym of sorts. (Yes, you can laugh about this in school.)

So. Here goes. If I ever deviate from this badly done manifesto, I hope people like you will prod me back on the right track.

GO RCKY!